a lover’s confession

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June 8, 2014

It was one fine afternoon when I met you.. You probably did not notice me or didn’t bother to recognize me, but it was the other way around on my part. I can still remember that red shirt you were wearing. I’m not the person who believes in love at first sight, but somehow at that point in time, ‘Eros’ has been playing around and might have hit me.

Today, I confess I fell in love with you on that first day..

I was like a high school teenager secretly admiring on someone, silently giggling inside whenever I got a peek of you. For a moment I was in denial. I was scared of another rejection, and of heartbreak.

But, it didn’t matter.

Instead, I took it as a chance for a new beginning.

Several times we went out as a group.

A lunch in the hospital canteen,

a simple wedding party of a friend,

and on a New Year’s day..

It was 2009.

We went out as a group together with my colleagues, still, I claim it as “our first new year” together.

You were actually seated beside me on the bus while going to Tagaytay.

Have you seen that look on my face when you noticed me carrying that heavy bag? *flushes*  You wanted to help me carry it.. but I politely declined your offer for the reason that you were actually liking someone else then.. :(

who happens to be my one of my colleagues.

Apparently, she was with another guy..

I watched you quietly while hurting inside. I wanted to comfort you but I kept distance. I did not make a single move to caught your attention towards me. I never did. I was contented with your smile that brings a bunch of joy to my already healing heart. There were a number of times, I was jealous. But I was never envied at all.

Several months passed by and still, you were tied up with a love you never had. I became more interested in knowing you, but still, I steer clear of. I waited and prayed for the right time.

You were gone for quite some time, and there were no signs of you for a moment.

Until one day I heard that you were already moving on from an unlikely kind of heartache. That was probably the day that Mama Mary finally answered my weekly Wednesday prayers.

This time, I did not think twice. I grabbed for the opportunity to know you.  The rejection was still blocking my way out, but I wasn’t scared at all. I am prepared for any negative circumstances that might come.

4 years past, and I am thankful to God for the confidence He gave me at that moment when I first sent you a message and for that time when I asked you for a dinner out. I guess he’s too shy to ask me out so I initiated it all. I didn’t regret any of it, though. I’m actually glad that God has given me so much patience that I waited for you for several hours on that first date..

that He mended my heart firstly, before actually getting to know you,

that we became “us” just a few days before leaving for Singapore,

that it was His plan as well, to send you with me in Singapore and be with me after 7 months of long distance relationship,

that He has given us more than 3 years to enjoy each other’s company before giving us our angel,

and that we are happily together now as a family.

If not with God’s help, I wouldn’t be here lying on my favorite place on earth, with you.

Happy anniversary to my love, my confidante, my mentor, and my everything.. Iloveyou!

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